我是孤傲的蔷薇

南瓜马车的午夜 换上童话的玻璃鞋
让我享受这感觉 我是孤傲的蔷薇
让我品尝这滋味 纷乱世界的不了解

晚风吻尽荷花叶 任我醉倒在池边
等你清楚看见我的美 月光晒干眼泪
那一个人爱我 将我的手紧握

抱紧我 吻我
喔爱 别走

Rest in peace, A Sang.

A Sang's music represented quite a significant period in my life. Think i was bout p6 or sec 1 when Ye Zi came out. Was going through the emotional period of my life, so Ye Zi and Shou Le Dian Shang were quite the few songs i turned to alot. It was also my composing period, the times when i'd stay in class during recesses, run straight home after school and stay in the room whole day, just to write versions after versions of my own lyric covers of songs. Shou Le Dian Shang was one of those i had mnay many versions for. That time i sweared it was the saddest song ever made..

And Ye Zi, the song i first auditioned myself for Regent's talentime with when im sec 3. The song touched me so much, its one of my best performance till far. Still remember it was at the AVA room, with perhaps 7 or 8 people scattered around in front. As usual for any auditions, its the intimidating silent you have to force yourself to break with your first note. To capture the audience's mind till the last note, theres pretty much nothing else but to sing well. I never exprienced that success for my auditions, and i swear i was taken aback by the burst of cheers and applause after i finish the last 2 words - Ye Zi. Theres still a vague memory of some girl coming up to me after that saying she was so touched by the performance.

There were a few other performances after, but Ye Zi was the most successful one i did. Because it was so well-written, so well sang by A Sang, every bit of it touches the heart; you know you just cant lose that essence of the song.

I believe her music had made many wonderful memories for others too. Dear Higher Ones, please bless her as she embarks on another new beginning.

Rest in peace, A Sang.

F 1.7.
QY, 11 years. Its not going to waste.

Tizzy for Deserts

Love this cover of Tizzy Bac's You'll See by Zhang Xuan.

Class chalet

As the cliche would start, it was fun and definately great getting to know e classmates and all. Well yeah, definately i enjoyed myself staying up the night w the quater of class who stayed over. had tonza fun teasing and bursting into fits knowing all the classroom romances, listening to stories the guys have to share, how they wish for an awesome 24hrs w a date, the fetishes, turnoffs etc etc.
But i guess whats greater to know was the existance of SPU in my life. Humble, genuine, passionate group of kids. Its like the part of the world thats yet to be touched, or have choosed to forbid the rules of reality game.
These children dont club, they learn their moves and dance together wherever they are. These children dont hook their eyes to boobs and skirts, they take the cliche way of finding partners; these children dont despise the fat and ugly, they know the value in connection of two minds.
And these children, they have passions. Sacrificing, sweating, draining every single bit of themselves for their team; for Ultimate. They are not thrilled by hooking the hottest chick in the room, they get their thrill from the smallest achievement of the team they fought their lives for. The sugar rush of playing and achieving something together with the other kids who share the same passion, i say its more than locking hands w yet another pretty face.
My class is the World, and i thank God for showing me the guide to playing this game of life.

Mayday 我心中尚未崩壞的地方

IVP stage 1

Speechless bout my performance today. or maybe theres just too much of emotions stirred within, it hurts too much to evaluate in this very night..
Still remember the hype and excitment which kept me up on bed for an hour plus last night.. i cleaned my boots, rewatched e Sing Opens 08 dvd, got so fired up by Seiji's fake i spent a good half hour practicing my pivots. Fell asleep with a whole heart to strike, dump, fake, assist like how i did on thursday's training. Patience for 100% passes, nice swings, effective fakes, i swear im surprised by how well i handled.
But freak! everything went so wrong today. its like back to square one, denying everything i thought i'd learnt. nothing much different from how useless i portrayed myself 4 months ago at GHS.
i really dont know wat was on my mind. i tried to forgive myself for e 4 throw-aways when SIM cupped. but its just hard to chin up when you know that 4 drops cost SPU crucial points, to the extend MJ have to decide to use only the guys for remaining points. self condemn, fear for disc built up for e next match, perhaps so i've not much of impression playing against NYP. they say u should never dwell on ur mistakes and treat every point with a new spirit. i fail to succeed it till e final match. now im full of regrets, having a bad night groaning how much a loser i am, why din i come to assist when they need help, why should i show myself as such useless being in the game when i've been doing pretty well in trainings. Joel sure hit that right this morning.

i wish you'd tell me how u feel, have i denied your trust.. or perhaps it didnt even cross your heart. but that pat on my shoulder before the matches telling me i can do it was everything i needed to start the morning..

Sometimes in life, you just have to keep repeating to yourself
you are stronger than that..

Its been three weeks, let me get over it..

I'd spent the 2 dollar note.

Artwork

17/02/09
Lot 1 library
PS. completed by frens.. mainly Dan -___-
Bridal girl in Superwoman suit by UnderArmour. I like that...

Heartbreak

Wasnt so strong afterall.. i broke down the minute i reach home. and i know its gonna take quite some time to pick things up again.. But Higher ones, i thank you for blessing me with such a good friend i'd probably use a whole lifetime to find, and the love and care of my family.
Today, i grew up another bit.

TOLUKU!!

Omggg, i just found toonza vids of TOLAKU on youtube! Been soo many years since i heard their music. They've been quite a significant period of my life, when im 6 - 10 years old i think. Still remember i used to go art class @ JE singing ''WO~ WO AI XIA TIANN. YOUUU~ PIAO LIANG MEI MEI." Hahaha. Those were e periods when my sis and i would run round the house screaming e latest Zhang Zhen Yue, Power Station, Mavis Fan's songs. Nothing else, but happy happy summer music! =)

Some idiot disabled e embeddings, so i can only put e links for my ease.

Wo Ai Xia Tian - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_uCY-01P60
Fei Xiang Yang Guang Fei Xiang Ni - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bAYyChBJwQ
Ni De Tian Hua - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2e4PEgr5HTQ
Kan Zhe Ni - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dy2x5J8CG_c
Ai Ni Yo - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctrPt1ogmSE&feature=channel
Da Tai Yang - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFKAUot6EVc

EIGHTEEN BIRTHDAYE!

Birthday this year was greeeat. Met Jas in e early part of e day for town, came back Holland for a dinner w e clique, and met Liu (eew) for supper.

Alrite guess this verrry long picha post more of less summed up my 18th bday. its a pity i din take any pics w Jas T_T But thanks aloot everyone for squeezing time out to celebrate my bday, i really enjoyed myself. Jas, Liu, Wong, Tammy, Elaine, Deme Kang, Josh, Keith and Jon; i really appreciate it. Thanks Jas for e greeat surprise, Wong for organising sucha awesome trip (hee) and Liu for coming out so late. <3>

Tonza loove,
ZHENG!

Counting down to 04/02

Interior submission yest. I skipped SIM match for this T_T Urghh, 5 more days to final sub! Noo more sleeeeeeep. Gon rush to e print e A1 boards too. God bless me!!

Its getting miserable, i cant get over it..
please please higher ones, i really just want what i want...

18 days to final submission

Finally a fruit from all these sleepless nights.
Sorry all whom i said i'll blog during this period, it gets so hard to discipline myself to write these days. =( 3d, cad drawings, final model touch up, presentation board, portfolio, joint crit. Omgg, i doubt i'll even enjoy myself during CNY. 4th feb please come real sooon! I neeeda sleep, i neeeda disc!!!!!!!!

ACJC friendly tmr

IMMA EGGGCITED.

2009

Haha, just realize how long my reflections are.
Now 2009, its really time i get serious in my life. Im gonna be 18 soon, my gosh. Year of 17, i failed to take charge of my life; 18, i'll kill myself if i fail again. Lol.
1) Tune myself back to studies. Find back that passion for Archi.
2) Work my arze off. Im gonna win back everything with hardwork. No more looking down on me, classmates aka bloody sceptical ppl.
3) No more lazing. Self-discipline!
4) Time management. Start work damn early, im not gonna be rushing throu sleepless nights till the last hour before submission.
5) Make peace with myself. Love who i am.
6) Make peace with family. Control my temper. Be a good daughter/ sister.
7) Be a good friend. To all i can, i'll be there for the love ones.
8) Improve my PR. Shall stop whining bout people.
9) Extend my knowledge. Start reading the papers and watch the news evernight. [serious.]
10) Frisbee. Make full of every training i've got, never ever lose the passion. Im playing for life.
11) NO MORE SUPPER.

Gooo me.
Okay, im pretty excited what fate has in stall for me in 2009.
Mmm, well im still waiting for the first one, rather patiently... :)
Hehe.

2008

2008 has been a rather rough patch for my life. Graduating from secondary school, coming into a totally new surrounding and culture. Been immerse in Architecture, studying everything from Tadao Ando to floor slabs, roof rutters... Becoming a sports person, a totally ridiculous thing i'd do in my past. And most importantly, been force to ditch that lazy, undiscipline, rather loserish attitudes i've been praticing in Regent.
I had a hard time catching with everything.
I fail to discipline myself to ditch the laze and be a more hardworking kid in the fast-pace archi class.. It seriously killed my results against all the hardworking kids.
Its hard catching up to be a sports person. It was miserable feeling so loserish in the club. Everyone can run, everyone can jump. The pace was fast, very fast - 6 months since SP Ultimate has been up, and the the vast recognition it'd gained is "ridiculous". I cant say i've become good player. But i'll applaud myself for surviving throu the bitchy times having to show my weakest link out so apparently to everyone. Im glad i held on, if not i'll never find the beauty of sports, the passion for Ultimate, and the very good bunch of teamates who became such supports for my life.
That apart, i hate to admit. Frisbee took up so much of my mind and body, i realize i lost my initial aim coming into poly.. That aim of becoming an architect is turning vague. Theres only a certain amount of passion one can give upon to things, and as my passion for frisbee burns, my love for architecture start to fade. I know my family's dissapointed, very. They'd do all they can to give me the best for archi, just for a hope of me doing well. By so much luck, i went throu the interview and landed myself a seat in it; but now im screwing everything up, putting so much time into my cca, risking myself to retain the year. Urgh. What the hell im thinking.
Its a lesson, i should never believe i can ever juggle both things.
08 couldnt be worst, as i screwed my priorities, i felt such failure, i lost all that trademark optimism; all the self confidence. I din only tampered my relationship with my family, my low self esteem lose me quite a few frens too.
Urgh. Now writing here, i realize how screwed up my 2008 has been.
My New Year resolutions gonna be damn loong.

Please God, i need you now.

Live high. Live mighty. Live righteously.

Jason Mraz, Live High in Paris.

Douglas & Jamial passing by Xindi at the sideline

Douglas: Aye Xindi, we're disqualified for the next match.

Xindi: Hur, why?!

Douglas: Jamial's not happy with the referee, and shouted F word at him.

Xindi: Omg! Jamiaal, why you always like that one???

I think they cramped throu their next game.

Urgh training's cancelled today. Kang, i want spag on fri!!

I enjoy sending that Wong kid 2 pics of W* every night.
I've got over 20 pics of him in my memory card.
Im not gonna upload them onto picture stream.

WONG, WHO?

Haha. Anyway, both of us gonna drag ourselves outta bed at 5:30 in the morn latr, travel all the way to panjang for a, i hope, sumptuous breakfast. Kang's cooking SPAG for us!! Uh okay, not literally for us, since i beg him to cook our shares. But gosh, im actually looking forward to tasting e guy's cooking. Haha!

Review on Kang's spag tmr. Uhh its 2am already...

In a team, we can achieve anything.

Bro's SMU team crowning champion at Grab.Huck.Score 07.

My team dashing into e semi-finals at Grab.Huck.Score 08.

''I love team-sports. With the right people, those games provide an experience that is hard to duplicate else where. We remember our moments: the time we dived and caught a Frisbee (throw in a scoring pose), the time we denied that opposition goal, the time we crossed the finish line. Individual sacrifices, brilliance, commitment. It inspires the rest; it infects the rest. Team-spirit is complex, is opium, and ultimately, is formidable.
In a team, we can achieve anything.
I like the sound of that. "

I'd never truely understand these words when he blogged about wining Grab.Huck.Score last year. Now becoming part of a team, playing for such intensive sports like Ultimate; theres no denying team sports provide the greatest experience one can hardly ever find elsewhere. Its the connection between each indivisuals in the team; the will to sacrifice for one another, the will to pull through rock bottoms with one another, the will to burn the opponents and triumph in glory with one another, and too actually feeling warm to see each other doing something great on field. These emotional connections, it can never be more true with hours after days after months of seeing each other drenched in sweat, frantically catching for breathes, breaking down upon setbacks, and keeping up the wills to fight their own barriers. And all this reaps team-spirit; trusting in the selves, and trusting between the selves; the strongest force that achieves all things.

A path is right ahead of us, to triumph in NYP Invitationals.

Drown me in the sea of the light. I'll forget who i am; who you are. And the hurt between us.

Layout Virgin no more!!

19 November - My first layout. =)

Layout practice, or rather 'Breaking teh Barrier' today was hella fun fun fun!
I loove rainy days!

Now next aim, THE GREATEST. Haha, kidding!

Finallyz day

Its my day today again! Haha! Tonza things worth celebrating for. First, finally finally met HH for lunch. After sucha long long time since we met. That super bhb dude never changed, but just right to calm my nerves. Was damn scared i wouldnt know what to speak when i see him, but we still hit it off like how we always do online. Very good meal. =)
Then it was training! Man, i swear that was e most fruitful training i ever had since e start of SPU. Its the kinda days, u feel urself putting in a real 100%, and feeling u'd totally made the most out of urself. D-ed quite afew discs, i hardly believe i have e ability to; or should i say speed and courage. Attempted quite some dives; though all failed to save the discs; but man, im seriously glad im breaking e barrier finally. Okay maybe the downpour before that made the field extremely welcoming today. But that aggro, that desire; i finally see it in me. Gonna really train hard for ACJC friendy in Dec. Quite excited to see what im worth of. GOO ME! Heh.
Okay. Now, im gonna keep the last thing to myself. =)
Alrite, but its a great day, apart from 2 WTH falls. =.= One while i tripped over a step climbing up to T1. Yes i know e guy behind definately saw it, and must be laughing his arze off to class. Another while chasing for Sucka Josh's disc, i was erm overwhelmed w 'desire', and ran onto e wet steps w my boots. It bleed and it still hurts ...

=)

Joseph Chang's new film!! Really hope they'd play it in Sg. =)

Anyway, today's a good goood day. Hee.

Happy Birthday

Its hard to believe how time flies, soon it'll be our tenth birthday we're going throu together. And i hope there'll be many many ten years to come!
Now hon; from the deepest of my heart, all the very very very best in life. The roads' not gonna be easy but remember, i'll always be there for u if u need someone to throw ur heart to, to drown in ur tears with, and scream Mayday's song together with! Haha!
Heres to u,

Happy birthday, my friend.For the ninth year. =)

Wo zhi dao chao luo zhi hou
yi ding you chao qi
Mei she me liao bu qi <3

Shed that cover

PatchWalker2008 (11 hours ago) Show Hide 0 Marked as spam Reply | Spam
The song is about being truly happy. Sometimes when you get hurt so many times, you decide to withdraw behind a wall of outward smiles to protect yourself. You mistakenly believe that if you won't try to love again, dream again, try again or even live again, you won't be hurt again. But this song suggests that this way of living is not really living and hence you cannot be truly happy. So the song says shed your protective covering and live again, love again, try again. And be truly happy again.
After so long, i finally told Bro everything im going through. All these tough times i've been having.
He told me, "Qinyi, its not that hard to cope. In fact, the route's already layout for you. You just don't want to walk it. You hate to face that thing's gonna be hard, you want the fastest way out; but thats not going to happen, so you give up thinking you can never cope with this." It was a really good talk with Bro and Sis. And right after Bro left the room, i come across this new Mayday song online. Its like everything's planned out. It just coincides with everything of the night.
If you have the will, there will always be a way. Its just part of living.
Thanks Bro, thanks Sis; so much. <3

Evan Yo's Liang Ren MV

Was browsing throu the channels and chanced upon this mv. I like how the director ties the building to the monochrome, lonely theme of the mv. The angles he catch truely bring out the grand yet lone and silence of the architecture, fitting so nicely into the song

aggrrro

i've never been so positive bout changing negativity to power myself up. But darling, this time im gonna freaking prove you, im no turtle. even if i am, im gonna show u turtles have brains too.

TO JASMINE PNG HUI YING!

O's in 2 weeks. Girl, JIA YOU!!

Keep pushing hon. It hurts seeing u break down so many times for Os. Trust me, i know u, u're a very strong girl in within. U can do it one!

Soon it'll be all over, n i promise i'll do my best to make it for evaaarrie meetings u jio me. Soon soon soon, we'll hit e kbox N CONQUER EVERY MAYDAY SONGZ. N go Lee's Guitar gig together to see Mayday again!

Keep going love, im here behind you. Arzehole. =)

SIM Invitationals

First thing, Good job SPU! It was a mere step away from clinching e medal. But Recognition, WE GOT IT. Its heartwarming hearing SMU say it was a tough fight w SP. Only 5 months since we'd started out, playing with people who played for 5, 6 years, thats really a compliment.

Yet that apart, SIM Torney was a dissapointment for SPU 3. We only managed to play the matches within our pool which both we lost, so we werent seeded into any more games. It was shock even to ourselves, everything ended too fast. People not on form, having the wrong mindsets, many sinful reasons obscuring us from performing to our standards that day. All dissapointed, guilty, and raged up, we've promised next competition we're gonna do justice to ourselves and e team.

Nevertheless, the times with SPU 3 was really great.

~Sheralin, Angela, HweeSiang, Josh, Siegfried, Yangyi, Yangjie, Edmund, Yewyong.

You guys let me know the importance of teamates.

And truckloads of gratitude to Yangyi, thanks for all the efforts u've put into SPU3. We really appreciate it.

Now guys, SMU Invitational's in 2 weeks time. We fell hard during SIM, we're coming back stronger than before!

GOO SPU! =D

GRAB THAT DESIREE. Hahaha!