No, im not giving up yet.

it hurts. it really really hurts.. to think i've been watching ulty vids yesterday, reading notes of teamates, getting so fking psyched up to die for this team i've played so long for.
all these effort shames. nothing else but shames me for fking up, for not able to even play for this team i call home.

IVP'10

LET'S GO SPU. THIS IS THE TIME.

This time, we'll run and run and run.

Shirts all soak in sweat and mud, we'll keep running, keep running,

keep trashing through the quaters, through the semis.

And we'll run to the fields of the Finals, the Ultimate Match.

The Ultimate Team.

The team we know Winning taste the sweetest.

I BLEED SPU.

[★]

Xinwang

GOT A JOB AT XINWANG!! HAHAHA.
PAPAYA SOUP EVEREEDAY. <3

To, Ahma

As we stand in front of you, giving our last blessing along the chants of the monks, i remember the day you last spoke a word to me. The day 3 years ago, you ask me to be a good girl, and listen to Mommy.. i remember.
Im glad i gained the courage to see your ashes that day you were cremated.. just wanted my memory of you to be the you laying peacefully in the coffin, but i guess bro and sis were right. Your ashes give a closure, the closure of everything.. that you're really gone.

Ahma, may you go on and live amoung blooming flowers, large green fields and chirping birds in light blue skies, with the chants of Buddha and smell of lotuses endlessly filling the air.

Thank you for everything you've given me, you'll always always be deep in my heart.
I'll be a good girl, and listen to Mommy.
Ahma, gam xia.

Million Dollar Baby

Was looking round Bro's dvd library to occupy the night and he threw me the Million Dollar Baby. He said its that one film that pulls you in so deep into the characters that you cant help feeling every microbit of emotions they go through. And repeated how much a legend Clint Eastwood is, acting and directing.
To me its truely a film that leaves you with such heavy heart, you really shouldnt watch it before bed. Din expect the story to turn out the way it is, made me teared so badly. Its depressing and yet so life affirming at the same time. Plot and lines are smart, characters and actings are perfect.
Definately definately one of the best film in the decade.

But now I've trouble sleeping..

------------------------------------------------------------------------------


(March 4th, never would i know this is the day Ahma will leave..)

Little House

I think of you alot everyday, but its something i can never let you know..

Calvin Klein model

Took a year to complete, finished the features many many months before and lost the feel to continue since, till 2 days ago. Haha i like how it looks abit like Amanda Seyfried. Dear John's good! :)

Dear John

"That's the big mistake a lot of people make when they wonder how soldiers can put their lives on the line day after day or how they can fight for something they may not believe in. Not everyone does. I've worked with soldiers on all sides of the political spectrum; I've met some who hated the army and others who wanted to make it a career. I've met geniuses and idiots, but when all is said and done,we do what we do for one another. For friendship. Not for country, not for patriotism, not because we're programmed killing machines, but because of the guy next to you. You fight for your friend, to keep him alive, and he fights for you, and everything about the army is built on this simple premise. "
— Nicholas Sparks (Dear John)

簡單。生活

Theres always this certain charm in Taiwanese that never fails to grip me. Their lifestyle, their taste in music and arts, their culture, the streets, the fields, the schools etc.
The ability to walk on the street, turn every corner and see different underground bands performing.
On lazy wednesday nights, find few machis and head down Kafuka for a drink and watch 1976. Spend most weekends at The Wall and Danshui watching gigs like Crowd Lu and Tizzy Bac.
Look forward every summers, for Simple Life and the countless summer gigs. Celebrate the heat to beats of happy tunes and beach, sodas, ice-creams, bikinis.
On off days, cycle down the breakfast shop at 630am and spend hours reading Jimmy Liao in the cafe.
Get a guitar to the school backyard in fresh mornings and write songs about the sweetest first love.
Appreciate music and art at such great context.
Well i may beautify things too much. But thats definately a life i'd kill to live. :)

忽然發現心動跟心痛只是一線之間. 想要自私的祝福自己, 希望下一次心動時不會再心痛.
- Derek Liu

不打扰 是我的温柔。。

17th April!!!!!

Black night, white lights

Huge grass, soft breeze, dark skies, alluring city lights.
I enjoyed every lil moments of tonight. :)

鼓舞吧，改变世界的人们

我们都想要这世界有一点改变
可能变得跟好，变得更不冷漠
变得更热情，变得更争议。

我们知道这事请 它可能不会在五月天手上发生，
但是我们要做一个 庞大的背景音乐
来鼓舞这些会改变世界的人。
那 应该这是我们想做的。。

如果世界是个革命的舞厅
那我希望五月天做的 就是
在这舞厅里面常常播放的
革命的舞曲。

-五月天

純真

你心中一定有座　濃霧的湖泊　
任憑月光再皎潔　照也照不透

你眼中閃爍湖面　無邊的溫柔　
那波光在 誘惑 。。

NINETEEEEN

Another year older, life's getting more and more serious every day..

I dont like to play all the 'ai mei' games, holding up the urges to talk to someone you'd kill to, just to be a little more valuable. I dont wanna play by the rules to be missed a little more.
I wanna talk to you, i wanna see you. And if u need me, im right here for you.

Shouldnt it be that simple..

Meoow!

小玉's cat.

They're sooo cute!!

Always wanted one. I will, i will, I will one day.

:D

alrite time to sleep, waking up early to continue my 3d.

Buddha, bless me.

American Beauty

"I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die.

First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time...

For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars...

And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street...

Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper...

And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird...

And Janie...

And Janie...

And... Carolyn.

I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world.

Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst...

And then I remember to relax..

and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life...

You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure.

But don't worry...

you will someday. "

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you,
I could walk forever in my garden.

Somebody's status.. how sweet. :)

i guess autocad really drove me crazy, i start listening to the most random Jay Chou video on youtube..
and it suddenly reminded me of your voice..

i cry thinking of trainings..

i need a break. i need a long long break..

Seattle Riot!

Miranda Roth is truely imba.
Would be so cool to play w a team of girls like Riot. Seriously cant wait for Single Gender tourney!! Aaaaah.

爱要直接
我不搞暧昧

不够干脆的人会被黑

浪费时间
排设么队

我在眼前

给，信嫂

Thanks for every every thing sis. The anchor of my life, the reason i still am who i am now. Love all the night walks round St 52, love Limbang, love the path to your place i used to take everyday. Love how clumsy you always look carrying so many ntuc bags, love how you always meet me with the clothes so sloppy you cant step out of the street. Haha!
But girl, i love you for being so much stronger than any 18 year old woman can be, the strength to get back up after so many setbacks. The determination to prove what you're made of, the charm you emit out of your lady frame. Sometimes it just got me standing in awe how this young crying girl has grown up.
Thanks for being there whenever i need a cry, and listen to every whine i've got bout the world which always seem much brighter after meeting you. Hahaha.
There for you too always, your sis. :)
Muah! <3

怪兽女友，上

love.

The trouble with love is

it can tear you up inside

make your heart believe a lie

its stronger than your pride

The trouble with love is

it doesn't care how fast you fall

and you can't refuse the call

See you've got no say at all

Everytime i turn around

i think i've got it all figured out

my heart keeps calling

and i keep on falling

over and over again

this set story always end the same

me standing in the pouring rain

it seems no matter what i do

it tears my heart in two

Dear god, can i not fall for someone

and end up this same way again.. im tired of heartbreaks.

it hurts so much..

Ready to fly.

Wah okay, i just chance upon Renee's music videos. Its so classic!! Been bout 6 years now.. pri5 pri6? Used to be very into hiphop, breakdance, rapping sorta thing. and she's pretty much the dominent few driving me, i swear i still remember the dancemoves for Feel Good and Spiderweb. Hahaha! Oh theres T-Rush, Machi, Wilber Pan and Missy Elliot too. Even bought lotsa bandanas, caps and singlets to be like them. Haha! To think of it, i really knew quite alotsa dance that time. The period i'll tape down every music videos, Energy's performances to learn e moves. Haha such good memories!

淡淡的失眠夜，最熟悉最寂寞的梦境..

Submissions aah.

I need to draw,
i need to go K,
i need to watch Avatar 3d,
i need to eat Xinwang,
i need to go hunt for Butak Pantai
i need to go Architecture shooting,
i need to run, i need to train, i need Ulty!!

向左走‧向右走

她‧習慣向左走

他‧習慣向右走

．．．習慣讓人有種莫名的安全感，卻又有種莫名的寂寞

　　　 而你永遠不知道，你的習慣會讓你錯過什麼．．．

How i wish im in Hongkong now,

strolling down Times Square along the blind Girl from 地下鐵, the Man with his fishtank from 微笑的魚, the bruised Bear from 失乐园, the many many round yellow Moons and the Rabbit in every forests, every dreams.

Come to SG next Christmas k?

Shots of Singapore architectures by Derek Liu

His photography truely inspires, love the bold perspectives and compositions.
Really nice to find people who does the same thing as you do on the fields. He's an intern from the States in Richard Ho's firm. Someone to share architecture views with on the sideline! Hahaha. And Erick's from Ong and Ong too, how nice coincidence!

AI - ONE

Sucha good song, nice mv.
Love AI.

Woke up with nice breeze sweeping through the room. Slept in till 1 in the noon, it still felt like 8 in the morning. Went for a lazy walk round Lot 1, rented some good dvds. Met up with girlfriend, chat through the evening. Wong Kar Wai night, Ulty tmr.

I like such good days.

Winterleague Week 4

YES, dearest i broke e barrier! i looked up e field! hahahahah.
Really good job Jigsaw. i love playing with you guys more and more! Lets continue winning!! ^^

毕竟是我爱的人 我能够怪你什么

Oh, how this spring of love resembleth,

The uncertain glory of an April day,

Which now shows all beauty of the Sun,

And by and by a cloud takes all away.

The Two Gentlemen of Verona,

William Shakespear

Because in this skeptical world, lousy individuals remain alone..

10,000 Hour Rule

Bro use this line on me once,
"Clock 10,000 hours of practice, and you become the master of it."
Heard it somewhere again lately.

Yes, im gonna handle 10,000 hours.
Wait for me.

ZD VS AC

Scimmage with ACJC wasnt bad, thought i did my best. Could have done alot more still, harder defence, better decisions making. Hope league'd go well tmr. =)
Way to go ZD! Gotta put up a damn good fight against RJ next week. We er.. better do. Geezes.

I look like Mommy here. Hahaha.

Love Me If You Dare

Tu me manques beaucoup

Team..

When will SPU start getting heated and intense again...?
I miss the days of tedious horrendous trainings. Each of everyone gets their fall and eventually pushing through barriers after barriers. The emotional teamtalks, the most heated, most motivational words from Jin. Every individuals striving so hard in the name of SPU.
How much we want it, how much we'll pay for it. We shed tears and blood together. The intensity flowing through under our skins, we brought it out on the field.
THIS IS SPU.
I wanna feel a part of this team again.
I wanna stand up proud saying this is the team i'll die for, again.
Look at them, time waits for no one.
Hope, waits for no one.
I wanna win IVP this year.
I wanna win NYP.
But if only we start now.
Cause they did..

Perhaps im just not a writer, it gets hard to put feelings into words these days..

how bout that,
you truely truely made my night. :)

Winterleague

Here comes the league, and everything good.

it will..

Stay Real

Omg, Stay Real featuring Tizzy Bac!!!! ><

十月二十九日 情天晴


你曾聽過午夜突然奏起的琴音嗎?
是巴哈 ﹐莫朴特 ﹐還是蕭邦?
那是天使的樂聲 ﹐
如此美妙 ﹐絕如此單調 ﹐
令人不禁墜入另一個無色的夢境。


－又寂寞又美好﹐ 機米

OH YEAH!

NEW ALBUM!!!!

三月四日　天空有好多雲


城市的路燈真沒情調﹐
於是我在公園裡點滿蠟燭﹐
在黃昏後發出溫暖的光亮。


獅子老虎替我守衛﹐
公園管理員
只能在遠方叫罵﹐
說我衛反公園保護第七十九條規定:


不准製造浪漫不實情調 ﹐誘人掉入戀愛陷阱。



－又寂寞又美好﹐ 機米　

Haha, St 52 is awesome with you around. :)

I choose not to believe November's e gray month.
Just hate it when fate have to mind-f people.
Please, let me hold on to the least expected and a faith that good things do happen, can?

I'll take it slow...

Miss you alot, Jas.

=)

Im trying all possibilities to keep myself contented at all things thats been good these days.
too good in fact, something i've waited so long for. i cant believe myself either, im finally talking to you. :)
Never felt such intense feeling, please tell me its a good sign.

hello hello, you are really cute.

This is a post for you.
With all i wanna say between the words..

SPU I/D

DESIRE - CHECKED. INTENSITY - CHECKED.
GHS last year has past, this time im not gonna regret.
Higher ones, please bless us.

---------------

It'd have been bad, but am still optimistic.
Its things gained afterall.
Gambete gambete gambete. (Jas, thanks for the lil toy on my desk)
and if reality allows, i'd put that moment into repeat.
That almost magical moment.

"Elegance is achieved when all superfluous things have been discarded and the human being discovers simplicity and concentration. The simpler and more sober the posture, the more beautiful it will be. Snow is beautiful because it has only one colour; the sea is beautiful because it seems to be a flat surface. But both the sea and snow are deep, and know their own qualities."

- Paulo Coelho, The Way of the Bow

一片美麗又殘缺的幸福

Specially like this comment by josephcmliu...

最近的ipod中總是反覆著放著這一首歌,而Tanya的歌總是 輕柔的就碰觸並喚醒了心中最軟的那塊地方,帶著點失落又有著追憶的幸福,反覆的低吟,眼眶也不自主的濕潤了起來.....
這個mv拍攝的地點是在高雄的捷運中央公園站及美麗島站,帶灰濛的天空配上左營的落日殘紅,Tanya自言語自的吟唱著失去的孤寂,在南國的廣袤的天空下,浸入一片美麗又殘缺的幸福!

The beauty of chinese words.

qinyi

Family.

I miss playing with you guys. i miss how we fought our way for recognition. i miss screaming "SPU" at the sideline uncontrollably tearing at the moving scene. i miss all the sweat and tears we've shared through Jin's trainings. i miss how close we got together after the Hell-Camp. i miss how excited we were meeting NYP. i miss how intense and aggro we were when we're trashing SMU during GHS. i miss how much we fought trying to achieve e aim of having Jin cry his way back to Semb. i miss the moment Joel kisses the disc and pulls it into the endzone of SMU tallies, to where Deme jump and grab our IVP Plate Champs firmly in the palm. i miss us running to hug each and every player of the last line. i miss all the Go-to drills we did, with Jin's "Outside!" echoing round every runs. i miss each and every S.P.U! disc in we did, each with a full lung filled of Aggro and Intensity. i miss how we'd use Aggro and Desire so much in our daily lines. i miss how we vowed we're coming in stronger this year to grab everything we've lost last year.
i miss myself frantically nodding, agreeing we'll make Jin cry his way from SK back to Semb this time.
If only i've some justices to do for myself, before all these were denied..

qinyi

The Kite Runner

For you, a thousand times over.

累了, 枯了, 凋谢了...

OFFICIALLY IN ZD ULTIMATE.
And im gonna kill myself if i ever screw up school again.

"She said, 'I'm afraid." And I said, 'Why?,' and she said,
'Because i'm so profoundly happy, Dr. Rasul. Happiness like this is frightening.
They only let you be this happy if they're preparing to take something from you,' "
-The Kite runner

Kids with discs

SPU <3
Thanks alot Qinghui!

[我知道潮落之后一定有潮起]

潮 起了...

MJ

Rest in peace, MJ. You'll always be part of the world.

procrastinate somemore.

Soon the school buses will come... accompanied w moronically hyper kids screaming their ways into school. Not long after, our national anthem'll ring throu e neighbourhood.
GOSH TIME TO SLEEP!!!!!!!
Good job qinyi, you'd stayed up e whole night! WOW.

- 7.27am

1976!

我还有心爱的人. 一个摇滚乐队. 口袋里还有一点钱.

世.界.末.日.就.是.明.天 这就我生活态度!

1976 IS THE NEW LOVE.

JAS, thanks so much for every every thing. Its really hard to imagine my life without you; without you holding my hands through the bitchy periods, knowing when to give the warmest hug when i most need one, treating me the sweetest gifts to perk up my following days, texting unexpected msgs at seriously the right moments.
What's more to say,
GIRL, LETS ROCK AT MAYDAY'S CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!!!

when life enjoys black humour

After all ... tomorrow is another day. Today, is just a passing phase.
47 minutes ago · Comment · Like

TODAY SUCK.

Im going to sleep.

Please World, be a little more kind tomorrow..

A good architecture, is not a building you can put nothing more to it;
but a building you can extract nothing out of it.

DISC IN!

Tomorrow'll be the day. One of the biggest day of SPU - the arrival of the First batch of kids.

Im not sure how we gonna do it, but i believe we'll make ourselves justices and bring them up to where we're now in no time.

From a 23 men squad, its going to double, or actually even be tripled. New runners, new talents, with a year of setbacks, achievements and lessons learnt; SPU, this is a time we can rewrite history. To get that championship we've never laid our hands on last year.

We started out dreaming big, achieving where we are now.

Lets dream big again. This time with more patience, hardwork and brains.

Sure with the new squad, we're can write an even greater tale.

SO LETS GO SPU!

Pearl Bank, Outram. Singapore

Uhhhh omg omg omg, tell me its wrong. please tell me its wrong.
i cant, i can never!! omg.

我是孤傲的蔷薇

南瓜马车的午夜 换上童话的玻璃鞋
让我享受这感觉 我是孤傲的蔷薇
让我品尝这滋味 纷乱世界的不了解

晚风吻尽荷花叶 任我醉倒在池边
等你清楚看见我的美 月光晒干眼泪
那一个人爱我 将我的手紧握

抱紧我 吻我
喔爱 别走

Rest in peace, A Sang.

A Sang's music represented quite a significant period in my life. Think i was bout p6 or sec 1 when Ye Zi came out. Was going through the emotional period of my life, so Ye Zi and Shou Le Dian Shang were quite the few songs i turned to alot. It was also my composing period, the times when i'd stay in class during recesses, run straight home after school and stay in the room whole day, just to write versions after versions of my own lyric covers of songs. Shou Le Dian Shang was one of those i had mnay many versions for. That time i sweared it was the saddest song ever made..

And Ye Zi, the song i first auditioned myself for Regent's talentime with when im sec 3. The song touched me so much, its one of my best performance till far. Still remember it was at the AVA room, with perhaps 7 or 8 people scattered around in front. As usual for any auditions, its the intimidating silent you have to force yourself to break with your first note. To capture the audience's mind till the last note, theres pretty much nothing else but to sing well. I never exprienced that success for my auditions, and i swear i was taken aback by the burst of cheers and applause after i finish the last 2 words - Ye Zi. Theres still a vague memory of some girl coming up to me after that saying she was so touched by the performance.

There were a few other performances after, but Ye Zi was the most successful one i did. Because it was so well-written, so well sang by A Sang, every bit of it touches the heart; you know you just cant lose that essence of the song.

I believe her music had made many wonderful memories for others too. Dear Higher Ones, please bless her as she embarks on another new beginning.

Rest in peace, A Sang.

F 1.7.
QY, 11 years. Its not going to waste.

Tizzy for Deserts

Love this cover of Tizzy Bac's You'll See by Zhang Xuan.

Class chalet

As the cliche would start, it was fun and definately great getting to know e classmates and all. Well yeah, definately i enjoyed myself staying up the night w the quater of class who stayed over. had tonza fun teasing and bursting into fits knowing all the classroom romances, listening to stories the guys have to share, how they wish for an awesome 24hrs w a date, the fetishes, turnoffs etc etc.
But i guess whats greater to know was the existance of SPU in my life. Humble, genuine, passionate group of kids. Its like the part of the world thats yet to be touched, or have choosed to forbid the rules of reality game.
These children dont club, they learn their moves and dance together wherever they are. These children dont hook their eyes to boobs and skirts, they take the cliche way of finding partners; these children dont despise the fat and ugly, they know the value in connection of two minds.
And these children, they have passions. Sacrificing, sweating, draining every single bit of themselves for their team; for Ultimate. They are not thrilled by hooking the hottest chick in the room, they get their thrill from the smallest achievement of the team they fought their lives for. The sugar rush of playing and achieving something together with the other kids who share the same passion, i say its more than locking hands w yet another pretty face.
My class is the World, and i thank God for showing me the guide to playing this game of life.

Mayday 我心中尚未崩壞的地方

IVP stage 1

Speechless bout my performance today. or maybe theres just too much of emotions stirred within, it hurts too much to evaluate in this very night..
Still remember the hype and excitment which kept me up on bed for an hour plus last night.. i cleaned my boots, rewatched e Sing Opens 08 dvd, got so fired up by Seiji's fake i spent a good half hour practicing my pivots. Fell asleep with a whole heart to strike, dump, fake, assist like how i did on thursday's training. Patience for 100% passes, nice swings, effective fakes, i swear im surprised by how well i handled.
But freak! everything went so wrong today. its like back to square one, denying everything i thought i'd learnt. nothing much different from how useless i portrayed myself 4 months ago at GHS.
i really dont know wat was on my mind. i tried to forgive myself for e 4 throw-aways when SIM cupped. but its just hard to chin up when you know that 4 drops cost SPU crucial points, to the extend MJ have to decide to use only the guys for remaining points. self condemn, fear for disc built up for e next match, perhaps so i've not much of impression playing against NYP. they say u should never dwell on ur mistakes and treat every point with a new spirit. i fail to succeed it till e final match. now im full of regrets, having a bad night groaning how much a loser i am, why din i come to assist when they need help, why should i show myself as such useless being in the game when i've been doing pretty well in trainings. Joel sure hit that right this morning.

i wish you'd tell me how u feel, have i denied your trust.. or perhaps it didnt even cross your heart. but that pat on my shoulder before the matches telling me i can do it was everything i needed to start the morning..